In the house of my venerable parents is an odd-shaped piece of furniture. It is an elongated rectangular box made of some highly polished wood, perched on four stout legs - they have to be stout because this thing weighs half a tonne. Opening the front reveals a radio dial, and opening the top shows a turntable for old-fashioned records. It is a Blaupunkt radiogram from around 1950 - you can actually see it for yourself by searching 'Blaupunkt radiogram playing Otis Redding Fa fa fa' on Google. Placing a vinyl record on the platter and bringing down the needle into the spiral groove will bring forth a nostalgic series of clicks and pops as well as the full audio representation of your chosen music, faithfully rendered in full stereo through powerful - and heavy - speakers, after amplification through real glowing analogue valves. If the heating in the house fails, you can warm yourself next to the heat-emitting innards of the radiogram.
So, you may ask, why is McCaffrey indulging in this traipse down memory lane? I'll tell you. But first a question: Which is the more pleasant experience, listening to a CD or MP3 file, or listening to a record (either a 45rpm or 78rpm single, or a 33rpm 'long-playing' album) on such an old contraption as a radiogram? The answer is clear. Newer is not always better.
In the same way, emails were originally hailed as the faster, better way of communicating across the globe. Now, if I get 1000 emails in a day, a few of them won't be spam. Who buys all this Viagra/Chialis/Levitra anyway? I did once receive an email, apparently from God, inviting me to deposit $10,000 in His bank account in New York, for the continuation of His good works. I decided to let The Lord source His own cash.
Texts were also once the rage, with around 7.6 trillion texts due to be sent in 2014, but 'old fashioned' texts are now being overtaken by instant messaging on apps, with around 18 trillion messages due to be sent by this means in 2014.1 The number of old fashioned texts is starting to drop in a number of countries. The fact that a text is not delivered immediately (and isn't necessarily read immediately either) makes texting a very poor option for important communications. 'Instant' messaging is hardly better - it will be a fad, mark my words.
Skype? Don't make me laugh! Unless you are lucky with a good connection, Skype is about as good as using two baked-bean tins connected with taught string. I've nearly given up on Skype.
No, for the ultimate means of communication, I suggest that we use the telephonic equivalent of the radiogram: The Telephone.
This wonderful device (invented in the mid-1850s by a number of workers including Innocenzo Manzetti, Antonio Meucci and Alexander Graham Bell2) allows real-time interaction with people all over the world, on a one-to-one basis. Typically, when speaking on the telephone, you will have the listener's undivided attention (although if you call someone and they happen to be driving, it's best to ring off and call back later, since you don't want to inadvertently contribute to their death3). Speaking on the telephone requires that you pay full attention to what the other person is saying, while attempting to reveal their full meaning by interpreting any pauses, inflections and intonations, without the distraction of a moving picture of them as when using Skype. Speaking on the telephone is an intimate interaction.
That's why I've spent the last month speaking to people on the telephone. I have called up perhaps 500 people who have previously attended one of our conferences, to remind them, personally, that the registration fee for the conference was about to increase and that they should register now. During the course of these conversations, I have really reconnected with many contacts - it's been gratifying that they remember me and when we last met. I've garnered a lot of collateral information along the way, as well as a lot of up-to-date contact information. In one example, on a Monday morning I spoke to a gentleman who was in Cairo, and happened to mention that I was about to visit the Hillhead quarrying event. He said that he was looking to purchase some crushers, and that he would get on the next plane to Britain. On the Wednesday morning, he came to our exhibition stand at the event in England, 48 hours after speaking together on the telephone. You don't get that with a text!
To demonstrate our newly-restored faith in the telephone, this month we publish our direct telephone numbers on page 3. Call one of those numbers and you will speak directly to us, in person. You will have our undivided attention.
My number: +44 (0) 1372 840951 - speak soon!
1 http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jan/13/number-text-messages-sent-britain-falls-first-time
2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invention_of_the_telephone
3 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_phones_and_driving_safety
